Tuesday, November 25, 2008
* Chuckle-cheeks. For someone who seems to be always laughing.
* Goose-bumps. For someone a little silly who tends to trip over things, or someone who sends a shiver down your spine, or both.
* Snugglepuss. For someone who makes you want to cuddle up with them like a cat.
* Dumble-dear. For a fan of the Harry Potter series.
* Pookie-snooks. For someone whose nose you want to stroke.
* Poptart. For someone musical and sweet. Actually the meaning of this one is subject to interpretation ;-)
* Jiggles McJiggypants. For somebody who can't sit still.
* Twinkle-toes. A good, or terrible, dancer.
* Nuzzle-nose. Like pookie-snooks except nuzzlier.
* Snoopy. For a cute little puppy.
* Poopy. For a cuter littler puppy (so young and cute they maybe aren't even house-trained yet).
* Fox-trot. Someone foxy you'd like to dance with.
* Sweetmeat. This is just another word for candy/sweets, but it sounds quite... tasty.
* Happy-feet. Like twinkle-toes, except feetier.
* Shivers O'Chestnuts. This is actually pretty bad.
* Sir/Madam Laughs-a-Lot. This is even worse.
* Shiny-eyes. Someone with a gleam in their eye.
* Sparkles. Someone who lights up a room.
* Fishbreath. Use only if you can say it lovingly enough to distract from its actual meaning.
They have some other fun stuff on their site that you might like to explore. I found it and started playing and well, it put a dint in my day! But it was fun!
Let me know what pet names you use. I'm pretty boring I guess - I just use 'honey' and 'Sweetie Pie' but when my son was a baby he was 'pumpkin' - I've never understood why or where I picked that one up!
Have fun, fishbreath - oops I mean, Sparkles!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Thirteen years ago, I don’t think I could comprehend how difficult marriage can be. Raising a family and managing personal and professional lives can be daunting, stressful, and sometimes downright overwhelming. And since neither of us is perfect, we mess up a lot, and cause even greater stress on one another, than we would alone.
But it occurred to me recently, the invisible ways I’ve come to rely on my husband. After thirteen years together, there’s a rhythm of responsibility. Sometimes this rhythm is out of whack and called into question. Sometimes the drum doesn’t beat at all and our whole family falls into a chaotic abyss. But sometimes, the rhythm keeps time in areas I don’t even recognize.
For instance, I never gas up the car....
To read the complete story go to her site by clicking here.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
In this article, I especially like how she draws the analogy of men and women with Macs and PC's. Yes, we are different and we are always learning how to understand the other.
Enjoy the blog!
P.S. The blog is called Memarie Lane.
Excerpt from How to be a Sex God
After six and a half years of marriage I have come to realize that men tend to be very misguided when it comes to what makes women happy physically. For women, desire must first be ignited in the heart, but men seem to think the wedding ring is a loophole allowing them to bypass that part. They’ve signed themselves over, what further proof of love to we need? Hate to break it to you guys, but it must be constantly reaffirmed. The good news is, this is a lot easier to do than you’d think.
I think the biggest obstacle for men is that they tend to project what they want as men onto the women they’re with, and it just doesn’t work that way. For example, imagine what would happen if you tried to run a PC program on a Mac. Just wouldn’t work would it? Or you can look at it like two different gadgets that need charging. They may both may fit the same AC adaptor, but that doesn’t mean the voltage is right for both of them. Women require a different voltage than men, and the drivers need constant updating. You do it for your ipod, you can do it for your wife too. Click here to read the entire post.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Kids, aged 5 to 10, were asked questions about what they thought of love and marriage. Here's what they said.
Love and Marriage:
- "If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." -- Glenn, age 7
- "Love is like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." -- John, age 9
- "I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." -- Manuel, age 8
- "No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." -- Mae, age 9
- "Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too." -- Greg, age 8
- "Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." -- Tom, age 5
- "On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." -- Mike, 10
- "I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when Dinosaurs is on television." -- Jill, age 6
- "One of the people has freckles, and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too." -- Andrew, age 6
- "My mother says to look for a man who is kind. That's what I'll do. I'll find somebody who's kinda tall and handsome." -- Carolyn, age 8
- "It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." -- Kenny, age 7
- "One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills." -- Ava, age 8
- "When somebody's been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl. He says to her, 'I'll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have kids and get divorced.'" -- Anita, 9
- "I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." -- Regina, age 10
- "Most men are brainless, so you might have to try more than once to find a live one." -- Angie, age 10
- "A man and a woman promise to go through sickness and illness and diseases together." -- Marlon, age 10
- "[Being] single is better . . . for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to change no diapers. Of course, if I did get married, I'd figure something out. I'd just phone my mother and have her come over for some coffee and diaper-changing." -- Kirsten, age 10
- "Love is foolish...but I still might try it sometime." -- Floyd, age 9
- "Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." -- Dave, age 8
Saturday, November 15, 2008
1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?
Here is the problem: If the man answers incorrectly (i.e., tells the truth), every single one is absolutely guaranteed to explode into a major argument.
As a public service, I analyze each question and provide the possible answers.
#1: What are you thinking about?
The best answer to this is:
This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which is, most likely, one of the following:
c. How fat you are.
d. How much prettier she is than you.
e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.
(Perhaps the best classic response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg: "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!")
#2: Do you love me?
The proper response is: "YES!"
If you feel a more detailed answer is in order:
Inappropriate responses include:
a. Yah, sure, you betcha.
b. Would it make you feel better if I said "yes"?
c. That depends on exactly what you mean by love.
d. Does it matter?
e. Who, me?
#3: Do I look fat?
The correct answer is an emphatic:
Among the incorrect answers are:
a. Compared to what?
b. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
c. A little extra weight looks good on you.
d. I've seen fatter.
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
#4: Do you think she's prettier than me?
Once again, the proper response is an emphatic:
Incorrect responses include:
a. Yes, but you have a better personality.
b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner.
c. Not as pretty as you, when you were her age.
d. It depends on how you define pretty.
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
#5: What would you do if I died?
This is the all-time, no-win question.
(The real answer, of course, is "Buy a Corvette.")
There is no good answer.
No matter how you answer, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along the these lines:
Woman: Would you get married again?
Man: Definitely not!
Woman: Why not? Don't you like being married?
Man: Of course I do.
Woman: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
Man: Okay, I'd get married again.
Woman: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)
Man: Yes, I would.
Woman: (After a long pause) Would you sleep with her in our bed?
Man: Where else would we sleep?
Woman: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?
Man: That would seem like the proper thing to do.
Woman: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
Man: She can't use them; she's left-handed.
Friday, November 14, 2008
I've heard a litany of complaints and observations from husbands who tell me their tales of woes going to the in-laws. I've heard about the neat freaks, and the mother-in-laws who cook the food beyond recognition. I've heard about the families who ignore the husband (What am I - invisible? one man said to me). One client told me that his mother-in-law would tell his wife what she wanted him to know. "Mom" would never speak directly to her son-in-law. Sure these are horror stories and most people aren't that way, right?
Regardless of whether you are visiting the in-laws from hell or you just want to make sure that you put on your best behavior, I have some tips for you. You can use it anytime you are going to the in-laws.
- Take a hostess gift for "Mom". It could be flowers, chocolates, fruit, a small plant. Ask your wife what she thinks would make "Mom" happy. But remember if you come up with it yourself, your wife will most likely tell the family "And Rob came up with this present all by himself!"
- Take "Dad" a gift. Perhaps his favorite drink. That could be alcoholic, but it doesn't have to be. It could be a bag of gourmet coffee beans!
- Arrive when you said you would.
- Be prepared to be one of the crowd and not the one in control of how things are happening. Remember that you are only staying for a few hours or a few days and once the visit is over you can go back to being the captain of your own fate.
- If you tell a story, make sure it is a story about something positive about your wife. Make her the focal point of the story - do not put yourself in the starring role.
- Offer to set the table, carry the gravy or clean up afterwards. Pitch in where you can. Don't just sit on the couch watching the football game and drinking beer with the brothers.
- If asked to give thanks, or if you have the opportunity, let people know that you are giving thanks for your wife and for her family.
- Love the meal. Be sure to say something sincere and nice about the food that has been cooked. Even if the turkey is mushy and the potatoes are lumpy, find something real and good to say.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
February 13, 2008: Infidelity, incompatibility among highest causes of divorce, says poll
by Jeffrey Cottrill
Taken from Divorce News
TORONTO -- What causes people to divorce? It's a very subjective question, of course: the reasons married couples have for breaking up are as various as their reasons for falling in love. However, there are some issues that come up frequently among couples -- especially infidelity, poor communication, abuse, and just plain incompatibility.
A 2006 poll by DivorceMagazine.com asked its online readers the simple question: "What caused your separation/divorce?" The poll offered nine separate answers and told respondents to choose which one was the single strongest factor in the marital breakdown. The poll closed on October 31, 2006, after a total of 1514 people (1033 of them women) had responded.
Out of the whole, 23% of respondents claimed infidelity as the dominant factor in triggering their separations or divorces. Communication problems came a close second at 22%, followed by basic incompatibility with 18% and emotional or physical abuse with 17%.
Other cited answers in the poll: 8% of respondents cited drug addiction or alcoholism as the strongest factor, followed by money problems at 6%, one spouse being a workaholic at 3%, and a change in one spouse's appearance at 2%.
However, it's worth noting that the top answers differed noticeably between male and female respondents.
In the men's case, basic incompatibility was the top choice, as picked by 27% of respondents. Communication problems were second with men, at 25%; after that, men answered infidelity (19%) and abuse (11%).
On the female side, nearly a quarter of the women polled chose infidelity as the dominant reason for their divorce. Second for women was communication, at 20%, followed closely by abuse at 19% and basic incompatibility at only 14%.
So what does the gender difference mean? Any answer would probably be suspect of sexist generalization, of course, but the poll results seem to imply that men and women may have slightly different ideas as to what defines or constitutes "incompatibility" in a relationship, and/or what level of marital incompatibility is a sufficient reason to initiate a divorce. However, it's obvious overall that personal and physical compatibility is a must for a marriage, however you perceive or define it. And anyone would agree that communication is vitally important to the strength and longevity of a relationship.