Thursday, June 25, 2009
It is important to know when to do things separately and when to do things together. A sense of independence is a good thing as long as it is complemented with lots of quality time together. When there is too much time spent apart, you cannot make your wife happy and your marriage can be in danger of ending.
Gord developed a life of his own and he didn't spend much time with his young wife and growing family. Gord liked to play pool and drink beer after work and on the weekends at the corner bar by his workplace. Sarah liked to sing in a choir, volunteer with a senior's organization and read stacks of library books. When Gord was at home, he watched sports on TV and Sarah read in another room. The children moved in and around the two separated parents. Looking back on it both Gord and Sarah admit that neither husband nor wife were happy.
Then something miraculous happened. They bought a summer place on a lake not too far from the town in which they lived. The family started to spend weekends together; then they started to meet their neighbors and their social life became family events at the lake and in town with their "lakee" neighbors.
Life in the summer was spent renovating the cottage, waterskiing, visiting and eating around the evening campfires. Life in the winter included social events with the same people.
Sarah and Gord's marriage turned from one of a lot of separateness into one of combined bliss! Gord was truly making his wife happy by spending time with her and the children.
Its a good story - and a true story and I was reminded it of it as the hot summer sun is shining into my studio window. Gord had learned how to make his wife and family happy and in the process became much happier himself.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
He finally lost his temper and said “Why don’t you listen to me?” Now, I was listening to him. But I wasn’t getting any clues as to the fact that he meant something different than I was interpreting.
This definitely wasn't a case 'how to make your wife happy'!
Our friend Al said “What part of it didn’t you understand?” I said “All of it!” And then I asked “Can you say it in other words?”
And so my husband rephrased his statement. Oh! I got it! I finally understood.
The reason I am writing about this now is because there is a song on the radio right now and it has the lyric “Say what you need to say”. John Maher, the singer, repeats the phrase over and over and over again. (I counted 16 times!)
My point is don’t keep repeating the same thing. Rephrase it. It helps people to understand it and in the case of John Maher would make the song so much more interesting! Don’t say the same thing over and over. Rephrase it so that the person who is listening can hear it in a new way.
People have different perceptions about what things mean and when they are stuck in one way of looking at something they sometimes need to be physically or at least metaphorically moved to see the meaning of your words. Change the words – move into a new position and think about how you can get your point across in a new way.
Ok, I think I have said that enough. This post is over.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Do you want to know how and when to say yes to keep your wife happy and how and when to say no to make your wife happy? Is it possible? Can you do it?
Of course, you can and no it isn't hard!
I've taught courses in communications where I have espoused the notion: "Say ‘yes' every chance you get". I've also taught courses in Stress and Time Management that say "Just say no." So what is it? I'm going to suggest to you that there is a time and a place for each - but the key to remember is that you are always saying "yes" to building an even greater relationship with your wife and "no" to the outside influences that can detract from that relationship.
In a relationship, yes is a very good little word to call upon especially when you are focusing on how to make your wife happy and how to keep your wife happy! Being open and positive to the events that take place in a relationship can help to rejuvenate, invigorate and fulfill a couple's joy of each other.
It can make a good marriage into a great one.
You can read the rest of this article on my website.
Have a wonderful - almost summer - day!
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
If you have a wife whose Father has died recently, it might be a tough time for her. But there are some thoughts about things that you can do to alleviate some of the pain.
On Father's Day, some people wear a white rose to give tribute to their deceased father. I just learned that while writing my latest e-book, and my dad died 50 years ago! I think I might do it this year.
Each year on Father's Day, I have friends who sit down to a meal of fish and chips bought from the little corner Fish'n Chip shop in their neighborhood. Why? Because "Dad" loved those fish 'n chips. It was his favorite meal. So they do it in his memory. There might be other things that Dad liked to do that your family could do to honor the memory.
Of course not all fathers are remembered in a good light. Sometimes the relationship was non-existant or was filled with abuse. Father's Day can be a hard day in that respect as well.
I want to suggest to you that Father's Day is about honoring the men in your life that have contributed to your growth, education, happiness and well-being. It does not have to be just about a biological father. Perhaps it is an adopted father, a favorite uncle, or a grandfather. If there is someone like that in either of your lives, why not do something special for him? Send a card, take to a ball-game, share a ice-cream cake. Something fun that he would enjoy.
Traditions are an important part of any family or relationship. The two of you can create your own traditions that fit with your values and your experience.
Will that keep your wife happy? I think so!
Monday, June 1, 2009
I love my husband. He is my best friend. I try to do nice things for him all the time and I notice that he does the same. We have a mutual admiration society. I make him happy and he knows how to make his wife happy!
It isn't that we don't natter at each other and we do have differences of opinions, but generally we think fairly closely alike.
When I met him, I liked him immediately, but I didn't want to make the same mistake that I made the first time. I didn't want to jump into a relationship and then discover I had made a mistake. We took it slow. We dated for a whole year. And then one day...we had bought a house together and you know the old saying 'the rest was history'.
I have pretty good communications skills. I know the theory and I think that a lot of the time I do it right. But I'm human and I don't get it right all the time. I think I could say the same for him, except for him, he keeps his communications more to a minimum. He's one of those men that believe in 'a need to know basis'.
Well, here is a tip from a wife....we need to know it all!!!
How to keep your wife happy? Tell her lots. Keep her posted on the little tidbits. Tell her what you think of her hair, her new purse, those cute little shoes she has on. You will make her happy!!! Believe me.
You can visit my website if you want to learn more about how to keep your wife happy.