Thursday, January 22, 2009

Think About What You Say and Do

I want to share a little story with you that a client told me and told me it would be fine if I put it on my blog.

This man told me that he went through a period of time of being upset with his wife all the time. It didn't matter what his wife said it was wrong! Sometimes he would get mad at her and other times he would just stomp into another room and stay there. Then his sister said to him one day "You are sniping at your wife a lot!" And he thought, "Yes, I am. But why am I doing that? I love her. I love her being around." He told me "I forced myself to say to my sister "I know you are right, I'm going to have to change that." I did! I did say that and it was hard for me to do because deep down inside I'm Fonzie and I don't like to admit that I am wr...wrrrr....wrronng."

Just having that simple little chat, he turned his communication around. He is thinking before he reacts. He is taking that extra minute to think about what he wants to say.

What I want to tell you about this is that we all have an instant reaction to a statement or an action, but we don't have to respond with the first thing that comes into our head. We can take a minute, evaluate the effect of what we are going to say and determine if it is the right thing to say.

This is true for both men and women. And it can go a long way to having a happy and well-functioning relationship.

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