Make Your Wife Happy: Understanding the Power of YES and NO

Do you want to know how and when to say yes to keep your wife happy and how and when to say no to make your wife happy? Is it possible? Can you do it?

Of course, you can and no it isn't hard!

I've taught courses in communications where I have espoused the notion: "Say ‘yes' every chance you get". I've also taught courses in Stress and Time Management that say "Just say no." So what is it? I'm going to suggest to you that there is a time and a place for each - but the key to remember is that you are always saying "yes" to building an even greater relationship with your wife and "no" to the outside influences that can detract from that relationship.

In a relationship, yes is a very good little word to call upon especially when you are focusing on how to make your wife happy and how to keep your wife happy! Being open and positive to the events that take place in a relationship can help to rejuvenate, invigorate and fulfill a couple's joy of each other.

It can make a good marriage into a great one.

You can read the rest of this article on my website.

Have a wonderful - almost summer - day!

Father's Day

I was thinking about the fact that Father's Day is coming up soon. Here in Canada, and with our good neighbors to the south, we celebrate Father's Day in June.

If you have a wife whose Father has died recently, it might be a tough time for her. But there are some thoughts about things that you can do to alleviate some of the pain.

On Father's Day, some people wear a white rose to give tribute to their deceased father. I just learned that while writing my latest e-book, and my dad died 50 years ago! I think I might do it this year.

Each year on Father's Day, I have friends who sit down to a meal of fish and chips bought from the little corner Fish'n Chip shop in their neighborhood. Why? Because "Dad" loved those fish 'n chips. It was his favorite meal. So they do it in his memory. There might be other things that Dad liked to do that your family could do to honor the memory.

Of course not all fathers are remembered in a good light. Sometimes the relationship was non-existant or was filled with abuse. Father's Day can be a hard day in that respect as well.

I want to suggest to you that Father's Day is about honoring the men in your life that have contributed to your growth, education, happiness and well-being. It does not have to be just about a biological father. Perhaps it is an adopted father, a favorite uncle, or a grandfather. If there is someone like that in either of your lives, why not do something special for him? Send a card, take to a ball-game, share a ice-cream cake. Something fun that he would enjoy.

Traditions are an important part of any family or relationship. The two of you can create your own traditions that fit with your values and your experience.

Will that keep your wife happy? I think so!

Don't become Bitter - Become Better

Cruising around the 'net I found a website that is anti marriage and pro being single. Now, I don't have a problem with people who choose to be single or who are single because the right person has not come along yet, but I do have a problem with people who are just upset with the whole marriage/relationship gig. As a matter of fact, I want to put my arm around them and ask them to tell me about it....and then find ways to help them be happier.

I read through the article on the site (I've posted part of it below along with a link for you to follow it to their site and read it) and I checked out "who we are" and the names all started with a descriptor "mad" "bitter" "pissed" "loveless." These are not terms I would ever want associated with my name - or my husband's name. Yes, making your partner happy - "making my wife happy" and therefore yourself happier is a much better aim in life. And it works!

Here's an excerpt and the link to Marriage Sucks.

"The next thing you know, you're a bitter, romantically deprived, sexless, emotional disaster. That ring on your finger feels like a garrote around your neck. You feel as though you've been herded into mental slavery. You think back to your wedding day and that walk down the isle doesn't seem so pristine anymore. In fact, it feels as though that walk was like that of a deathrow inmate on his way down the prison corridor for the last time. That's right. Your married and half the time you're wishing you were dead , the other half wishing it was your spouse. What happened to all the rhetoric about the everlasting bond and life-long joy of married life?

"The greatest myth ever to deceive humanity is the myth of marriage. We've all been duped into believing that marriage is the end-all remedy to our loneliness; that tying the knot is a mandatory function we all must seek during our brief tenure on earth. Wake up people! It's time to face the chilling reality. Marriage isn't a cure for our want of companionship, it's the disease of imprisonment. You'll be pleading to be euthanized in no time at all as millions upon millions have already found out. Look at the marriage world around you. Divorce is at an all-time high and while the "experts" toil over the tedious statistics, trying to psycho-analyze and negotiate a solution to the crisis, those of us who've been to hell and back are frantically trying to warn the oh-so-envied singles of the impending doom that awaits them if they elect to tie the noose...er, the knot."

Ok! Read enough????? Not a great take on life, right? Go tell her you love her and kiss her on the back of the neck!!! I'm going to find Helmuth and do that to him.....

I am sitting here thinking about all the things I would like to say and because I am sharing this blog with my husband I'm wondering if he will think I'm being too wordy. He is "terse" - I am not. Whenever we are out, I am the chatty one and he adds one or two words to the conversation. We'll see if he gets chatty on the blog.

I read something last night that reminded me about Deborah Tannen's work on how men and women differ. Men don't ask for directions and women do. Well, guess what???? I have a great sense of direction and get myself anywhere I want to go. I can figure it out. My husband, on the other hand, asks for directions right out of the gate! We laugh that we are opposite on this point, and it just goes to show that no one is a stereotype - we are all unique. Guidelines, theories and helps are all just that - guidelines and a step up but should always be evaluated to your unique situation.

Our romantic cruise

How to Make your Wife Happy

Last night my husband took me on a dinner cruise.

The limo arrived after work and whisked us, with several friends, to the waterfront.

On the boat, there was a 2 piece jazz combo playing. We had our own table and shared a bottle of Champagne. The meal was wonderful, maybe it was the Champagne, maybe it was the atmosphere, maybe it was the delicious salmon or the blueberry cheesecake.

Cruising past the night lights of the city is so romantic!

I just love being on the water.

My husband doesn’t so much! But he knows what I like and he wanted to be romantic.

To keep your wife happy sometimes requires doing something that isn’t your first choice but you know that it will fulfill one of her dreams. One of the husbands on the cruise last night said “I love to surprise my wife” and his wife just snuggled closer and smiled.

I have often heard one member of a marriage saying to me “It’s not that my partner isn’t a nice person, its just that they don’t set off any fireworks for me anymore.” Partners in a marriage get complacent. They forget that the marriage is about both parties. And so, the partnership starts to waver and falter. It can also end.

One husband understood the value of doing things together and bought season’s tickets to his favorite sporting event for him and his wife. What he didn’t understand was that she didn’t like sports and had no interest in being a part of that weekly event. What he forgot to do was to focus on an activity that they both enjoyed to do together.

If you want to keep your wife happy, you need to remember that there are two people in the relationship – not just one – not just you! Take time to enjoy each other’s company. Let your wife know how much you enjoy her company.

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We also took pictures and will put one or two up once we get home and can upload them.