Never too long married to Flirt

My friend said to me the other day, don't call me on my cell, text me. It's cheaper. So I've started texting. And I'm not a teenager!

I've been reading in the paper that people are flirtexting! Now doesn't that sound like fun? Instead of leaving little love notes around the house on postit notes - now I can send little love notes to my honey and only he will get them. And he can do the same. After all this is definitely a way he can make his wife happy. Someone called it Textual Intercourse. I don't think you are ever too old to flirt with your wife.

Motorola did a study. Christina Montgomery of Canwest News Service reported that 42% of young people (18 - 34) woo through text messaging in Canada. 35% use Facebook or Instant Messaging. And the newspaper also said that "just over one in 10 Canadians 55 or older use Facebook (15%) or instant messaging (12%) to flirt. In a surprising finding, a full 10 % of all ages would drop the hint that the romance was over by simply changing their dating status on Facebook, according to the pole.

Want to try it? Here are a few suggestions. Send me any others you might think would be great to share.

Drink l8r?

Luv u!

want 2 grab a latte l8r?

GTH4U (got the hots for you)

W2BAI (want to be an item?)

C4U (crazy for you)

:-*( (I want more than a kiss on the cheek)

My advice - just say things that she will understand. If you are new to texting some of the above statements will go right over her head - and miss her heart completely.

Flirtext responsibly!

Appreciate the moment!

The key to happiness is to appreciate the moment - yes - the one that you are in right now. Sometimes I forget this. And when I do, it doesn't matter what anyone around me says or does I cannot find happiness. I had a day like that yesterday. I found myself worrying about all the things that I thought were lacking in my life. And when a person gets on that bandwagon - a lot of things can appear to be lacking.

I will spare you the details of my discontent but I will tell you it was painful!

This morning though I have woken up with a new attitude. I gave myself a talking to before I went to sleep last night and when I woke up I remembered all the wonderful things that are happening in my life. Of course its easy when one wakes up scrunched between husband and pet dog! Oh yeah, I have a great husband and a wonderful little furry companion! And as I lay there in the early hours of the morning, before the light had broken and even before the birds had began singing, I thought to myself "Laurie, you need to stay grounded in the moment." And I asked myself "What are the things that are working for you now?" The funny thing is...the list was longer than the disadvantaged list I was working on yesterday.

Perhaps I just had spring fever. Like my grandson on Facebook who posted last night "I'm soooo bored!"

My message for you all - out there reading this on whatever day in whatever season it is for you at this moment of reading - is celebrate the moment. Celebrate all that you have right this very moment. When you are happy, you are happy just because it comes up from your very essence. And when you are happy, others around you can feel it and often others want to be around you because of your happiness.

I'm going to enjoy this day, for this day's sake. And I'm going to share my enjoyment with my husband and anyone else who shows up in my life today. How about you? Will you do the same? This blog may be about 'how to make my wife happy' and its my job to remind you again, you have to start with you! So, here is my benediction to you. Go out and be happy. Appreciate the moment. Carpe Diem!

A Little Thing Can Make Such a Difference

I enjoy surfing the net and finding interesting things on the topic of How to Make Your Wife Happy. This post came from a blog of a woman who at the time of writing was about to celebrate her 13th wedding anniversary. I liked the message and thought I would share it with you. Here is what she had to say:

Thirteen years ago, I don’t think I could comprehend how difficult marriage can be. Raising a family and managing personal and professional lives can be daunting, stressful, and sometimes downright overwhelming. And since neither of us is perfect, we mess up a lot, and cause even greater stress on one another, than we would alone.

But it occurred to me recently, the invisible ways I’ve come to rely on my husband. After thirteen years together, there’s a rhythm of responsibility. Sometimes this rhythm is out of whack and called into question. Sometimes the drum doesn’t beat at all and our whole family falls into a chaotic abyss. But sometimes, the rhythm keeps time in areas I don’t even recognize.

For instance, I never gas up the car....

To read the complete story go to her site by clicking here.

Are there days when you just want to be alone and if anyone comes around you, you just want to roar? That's what one of my clients said to me the other day. He was worried that he would strike out and hurt someone in his frustration even though usually he isn't a violent man. There are two ways that we looked at what to do when that happens, that can makes sure he is getting what he needs while not depriving wife and family of what they need. It was a good discussion for a man who had been feeling very frustrated in only thinking about what he should do for others and forgetting about what he needed to do for him!

If you are reading this and wishing you had someone to talk to about any of the bumps in your marriage, remember that one of the bonuses when you purchase the book "97 Steps" is that you get a chance to email me with a question.

Don't forget that just because your goal is 'to keep my wife happy' or 'to make my wife happy' you also need to look after your own happiness and find that balance.

To get to that bonus click here: www.howtomakemywifehappy.com

Setting Goals

I was reading some of the goals that people put up on the social networking site called "43 Things" and I discovered men who say "Make my wife happy" as one of the important goals in their life.

I'm with you, boys! If I can be of any help, just let me know!

Step 1:
The trick is that no one can MAKE anyone else anything. You can set an atmosphere that allows others to choose what you are offering. And I have all sorts of ideas about that in the material I offer on my website.

Step 2:
You know you get what you focus on. When you are focused on a goal and working toward that goal everyday, you will see the results. Just keep at it. Sometimes it just seems like baby steps, but in the end, there are a whole bunch of steps leading you right to your goal - and if you were going in the right direction, you are going to be a whole lot closer.

Step 3:
Help you to go in the right direction is right there waiting for you at www.howtomakemywifehappy.com

Quotes To Think About

Yesterday a dear friend and mentor of mine gave me a Book of Quotes. Reading through it, I found several I want to share with you today. Just read them and muse upon them. Have a great day!

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. - Robert Frost

Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. - Peter Ustinov

If you aren't good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you'll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren't even giving yourself. - Barbara De Angelis

You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love. - Henry Drummond

The first duty of love is to listen. - Paul Tillich

If you follow these great bits of advice, you will make yourself and your wife happy, I am sure!

And thanks, Jim, for the book!

How to Make My Wife Happy for $2.00 or Less

The following was written by David on his blog several months ago. I found it and liked it so much that I asked him if I could re-print it here. He said "yes, as long as you remember to give me credit."

By David at his website My Two Dollars.com

Last weekend I took it upon myself to make chocolate chip cookies from scratch. Now, I am no genius in the kitchen - in fact, I try to avoid it at all costs because while I don’t mind the cooking part, I hate the cleaning up part. But anyway…last weekend I had a hankering for homemade chocolate chip cookies like my mom used to make. So without telling my wife what I was up to, I went up to the grocery store and got all the ingredients. When I walked in the door, she could not believe I was making cookies from scratch!

Over the course of the next hour or so, I mixed all the stuff together (using our huge Cuisinart Mixer that we got for our wedding and I have never used), cooked the cookies in our new convection oven (I had to use it for something!), and pulled out incredibly yummy cookies that I made with my own two hands.

The cookies were a big hit in our house - my wife said they were the best cookies ever (yea, right….) and we wolfed them all down in a few days. Am I fatter because of all the cookies? Yep. Did they make my wife happy? They sure did…and I didn’t even make them for that purpose! I just wanted cookies but instead I got a 2fer - a happy wife and some cookies.

So next time you are looking for a way to make your spouse happy and make your belly happy, try to make something homemade…what shall I make this weekend? Trust me, it works.

Two Little Acts

Yesterday I met a couple, Ian and Ani, at a political event I was organizing. He's on the committee, it was my first time meeting with her and seeing them interact as a couple. While the speaker was up, Ani rubbed Ian's back. When I asked Ian to get up and say a few words about our campaign, he did and when he sat back down I said to him: "You were awesome! Thanks for doing that." And he replied "It's all because of my wife, she taught me everything I know." And he smiled at her.

"WOW" I thought "that was powerful".

The bond between them was given recognition by two simple acts.

This showed me that keeping his wife happy brought happiness to the husband as well.

Get Me Through the Day

Sometimes you just need to leave some loving words. You say it will make your day thinking about her and it'll make hers too - just thinking about you thinking about her. Warm fuzzies all day long....

You should not confuse your career with your life.

"Sorry" is Not a 4 Letter Word

I was thinking about the power of the words "I'm sorry" this morning. For those of you that watched the TV show "Happy Days" Fonzie could never say the words that indicated he made a mistake or that he was wrong and he could only stutter out half the phrase.

I think we are often like Fonzie. We have a hard time saying "I'm sorry" or "You are right, I am wrong". And yet, we like to hear it from others.

My husband is often right on things that I am wrong on. We have a good natured argument about it and then later I find out that he was right. Grrrr! I then find myself, attempting to say, "You were right" and I always think of Fonzie.

Being able to say "I'm sorry" relieves a lot of tension and allows both of us a safe space to voice our opinions without damaging the others feelings.

Thoughtful Ways to Make Your Wife Happy

Sometimes it is the little things that make us know we are loved. Sometimes it is the little things that just make us the happiest. Easy little tasks that not only say "I love you" but also say "This is just how I am in this relationship. This is just the kind of guy I am."

Stephen, from New Zealand, wrote a great story on his blog the other day. Stephen is the Managing Director of a couple of companies. He says he is a deep thinker and a story teller as well.

Stephen and his wife, Sonya, were out with friends one night and over the dinner conversation, Sonya mentioned that she knew Stephen loved her because he turned off her light. Every night, it seems, Stephen gets up and turns off her bedside light.

Someone asked her as she was telling the story, “You mean as he comes to bed?” … And she replied, “No, he gets out of bed and comes over and does it, even though I can reach the switch.” Sometimes she even wakes him up to turn it off. She continued … “It’s even better when I wake him up to do it.”

Stephen said, “Yeah but I grumble like crazy when that happens.” But as Sonya points out, “I do it anyway.”

I think it is like me having my husband close the bedroom door. I can’t sleep if it is open and once I’m in bed, I don’t want to get up and close it. But my husband does - even if he is already in bed or came into the room through a different door (yes we have more than one door!).

Keith brings Gaye coffee in bed in the morning – even though he doesn’t drink coffee, he makes it for her and brings it in to her each day when he is at home. She brags about it to her other women friends!

Tony makes breakfast every Sunday morning for his wife, Hazel, and serves it to her in bed. For the years that the children were growing up, they would also help out under his able tutelage.

Bruce always makes sure the kitchen is clean when he is cooking or at home. Janet says she loves that and it has even inspired her to clean up her mess when she is baking!

These are little things that Stephen, Helmuth, Keith, Tony, and Bruce do for their wives that aren’t on the official “husbands must do for their wives” list, but they do say just what Sonya said – they tell us that our husbands love us in little ways….and hey, doesn’t that make us happy? You bet!

What little thing are you doing for your wife that tells her you love her without the words?

Keep the Feeling

She was happy then - is she happy now? There will always be bumps along the way, the important thing is to know that they will only be bumps. A relationship is like a garden. You have to continually work at it to make it flourish and grow.

Don't become Bitter - Become Better

Cruising around the 'net I found a website that is anti marriage and pro being single. Now, I don't have a problem with people who choose to be single or who are single because the right person has not come along yet, but I do have a problem with people who are just upset with the whole marriage/relationship gig. As a matter of fact, I want to put my arm around them and ask them to tell me about it....and then find ways to help them be happier.

I read through the article on the site (I've posted part of it below along with a link for you to follow it to their site and read it) and I checked out "who we are" and the names all started with a descriptor "mad" "bitter" "pissed" "loveless." These are not terms I would ever want associated with my name - or my husband's name. Yes, making your partner happy - "making my wife happy" and therefore yourself happier is a much better aim in life. And it works!

Here's an excerpt and the link to Marriage Sucks.

"The next thing you know, you're a bitter, romantically deprived, sexless, emotional disaster. That ring on your finger feels like a garrote around your neck. You feel as though you've been herded into mental slavery. You think back to your wedding day and that walk down the isle doesn't seem so pristine anymore. In fact, it feels as though that walk was like that of a deathrow inmate on his way down the prison corridor for the last time. That's right. Your married and half the time you're wishing you were dead , the other half wishing it was your spouse. What happened to all the rhetoric about the everlasting bond and life-long joy of married life?

"The greatest myth ever to deceive humanity is the myth of marriage. We've all been duped into believing that marriage is the end-all remedy to our loneliness; that tying the knot is a mandatory function we all must seek during our brief tenure on earth. Wake up people! It's time to face the chilling reality. Marriage isn't a cure for our want of companionship, it's the disease of imprisonment. You'll be pleading to be euthanized in no time at all as millions upon millions have already found out. Look at the marriage world around you. Divorce is at an all-time high and while the "experts" toil over the tedious statistics, trying to psycho-analyze and negotiate a solution to the crisis, those of us who've been to hell and back are frantically trying to warn the oh-so-envied singles of the impending doom that awaits them if they elect to tie the noose...er, the knot."

Ok! Read enough????? Not a great take on life, right? Go tell her you love her and kiss her on the back of the neck!!! I'm going to find Helmuth and do that to him.....

A Dream Realized

I want to share with you an article by Pat Nichol, a woman who has been writing and speaking to men and women about how to have happier lives for many years. In this article, Pat talks about a married couple who have achieved a dream they had together. I think it fits in very well with the theme "How to make my wife happy." Enjoy the read.


One foot at a time, one day at a time, one dream at a time. What
is your wildest dream, what courageous, outrageous thing have
you always wanted to do? During the months of writing this
column, I have asked this question often. I hope that it has
made you think of something that you must do before you die.
This month the story is about two people who love and live to
sing. Dorothy & Mel have been singing in choirs all of their
lives. Dorothy sang professionally as a younger woman. They have
lived in the US and in Canada and are usually singing in several
choirs at once.

When you think about singers, what would be the most exciting
place a singer could possibly be? For those singers in North
America, one of the pinnacles of achievement would be to sing on
stage at Carnegie Hall in New York.

Late last year, Dorothy and Mel found out that they had the
opportunity to sing with a choir on stage at Carnegie Hall. One
step at a time, one day at a time, one dream at a time. By the
time you read this column, they will have achieved one of their
dreams. Actually, it wasn’t even a dream, who would think that
someone from a small town in British Columbia, someone in their
70’s might even dare to dream about singing on stage at
Carnegie Hall. However dream or fantasy, it did happen. On March
13th 2006, Dorothy and Mel and 198 other voices sang and allowed
their voices to soar out into the universe. They chose to be
courageous and some might say outrageous, they chose to live a
dream, a fantasy.

How do I know all this, I know because I was sitting in the
audience at Carnegie Hall when they walked out on stage. With
pride and joy and a knowing that what was happening on that
stage was so far beyond a dream as to be a fantasy. But here was
fantasy coming true. An opportunity for two people who have been
singing all their lives to reach a pinnacle. In the film, Music
of the Heart, Meryl Streep comments on taking that step onto the
stage at Carnegie Hall. I know that Mel and Dorothy felt the
same.

Pat Nichol is an international speaker, author and coach. She
writes a monthly column for Senior Living magazine based in
Victoria BC Canada. Becoming Courageous and Outrageous was her
second book title and is the title of her monthly column.

More on Japanese Husbands & Wives

"TOKYO (Reuters Life!) - Almost 40 percent of Japanese married couples speak to each other less than 30 minutes a day, with more wives than husbands contemplating divorce, a recent survey revealed."

This is an interesting article and although it is set in Japan, I know there are similar stories around the world! It is really time these husbands took time out of their careers to find out "how to make my wife happy".

The story goes on to say:

"More Japanese wives have considered divorce than their husbands. The survey showed that nearly half the number of women surveyed had thought of divorcing their husband in the past, compared to a third of the men."

And the conclusion? If men are spending too much time after work hours drinking and smoking without their wives, perhaps, the article says, "the key lies in quitting drinking and smoking."

I'd say there is more to solution than just doing that, however, it could be a good start.

Enjoy the article! (click on the hyperlink in the first paragraph above)

I am sitting here thinking about all the things I would like to say and because I am sharing this blog with my husband I'm wondering if he will think I'm being too wordy. He is "terse" - I am not. Whenever we are out, I am the chatty one and he adds one or two words to the conversation. We'll see if he gets chatty on the blog.

I read something last night that reminded me about Deborah Tannen's work on how men and women differ. Men don't ask for directions and women do. Well, guess what???? I have a great sense of direction and get myself anywhere I want to go. I can figure it out. My husband, on the other hand, asks for directions right out of the gate! We laugh that we are opposite on this point, and it just goes to show that no one is a stereotype - we are all unique. Guidelines, theories and helps are all just that - guidelines and a step up but should always be evaluated to your unique situation.